But let's talk music vs memories. No, I mean, music slash memories. Music and memories connected to it. There we go.
A few years ago I decided that my favourite song was going to be Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson. I decided this, knowing that I would eventually find a song that meant so much more, and that I would want to change "my favourite song" to that specific song. But I put up a rule. I said: "No." I said: "It will be against the rules to remove the title "favourite" from Smooth Criminal. The title is permanent".
This, to avoid chaos.
I hate chaos.
I like structure.
I love rules.
So my favourite song is Smooth Criminal, by Michael Jackson.
But these are songs that actually matter:
Stranger in Moscow by Michael Jackson
You might laugh at me for saying this; but I was well and truly sad when M.J passed away. I was one of those people who started long and torturous debates against people who believed him to be less than innocent. I remember writing on paper with crayon when I was six-ish that my two favourite things in the world were Spice Girls and Michael Jackson. I bought his albums and wore suspenders.
The week after his death, I wasn't fun to be around.
I started fights with my parents, where-in my dad told me M.J's greatness was overrated, and I told him to shut the fuck up (this was, and still is, the worst thing I've ever said to him. I'm not kidding). My mother turned red in the face and told me I was horrible for not reacting as badly to the death of my relative.
One day, I had this song on repeat, and it was like the world started moving in slow motion. I swear I could see people's movements slow down before my eyes.
That was the day I stopped crying in the bathroom by myself.
What the connection between those two things is; I don't know.
Oh, and no. Still no exaggerations for comedic effect.
Utan Dina Andetag by Kent (Bad translation: Without you breathing)
My best friend once made me a CD with her favourite songs, and told me to listen to track number **insert correct number here**. It was this very song, and she told me to listen to the lyrics and think of them as her words to me.
We have a very strange and close relationship.
I still have that CD, and I remember the cover being pink and custom made, with the words: "To Pi-chan".
We were lame.
But I think it's sweet.
Now, I just said that I have rules against changing my favourite song, but for some reason if you click on this video and watch it on youtube, you can see my comment at the top, saying: "This is my favourite song of ALL TIME!". So I guess I've already screwed this.
But.
This song was introduced to me by my brother when I was around 12 (major guesstimation). My brother is a very strange man. I've asked him several times what kind of music he listens to, and his answers have been things like: "I like background music" and "I don't listen to music". And yet he introduced me to the most powerful ballad I've ever heard.
He introduced me to the messiah of depressing song lyrics.
He introduced me to a song that I would spend the next eight years listening to, religiously.
This song is about a woman who sees love as a disease. She sees her falling in love as a weakness, and condemns herself for it.
The bridge still gives me shivers.
When I die I want this song to play at my funeral.
There will be tears.
Skinny Love by Bon Iver
This song is actually about a relationship that is too fragile to work. But when I was younger I saw it as something else.
I remember seeing the sentence:
"Love that's too skinny to survive. It's not properly fleshed out, and is doomed to fail"
I listened to this song in an ill state, and found help.
It's also a very, very good song.
If you're not familiar with Birdy, you should also listen to her version. (JUST A TIP)
It's also a very, very good song.
If you're not familiar with Birdy, you should also listen to her version. (JUST A TIP)
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Those were some out-takes, I guess.
Writing is perfect for when you need to relax for a while.
THANKYOUTHANKYOU.
G'night.
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