Saturday, August 4, 2012

Me and Sociopathy

When I was younger I had this idea that I might have been a sociopath. Not like today, where I joke about being a psycho because of my cronic weirdness, but genuinely, honestly, definitely thoughtful of my own maybe-sociopathy. This, because of an inherent worry that I didn't care about my friends and family enough.
That worry disappeared as I got older (and wiser) though. Somewhere along the line of growing up you realize how normal, boring and human you are; especially when you go away for a week and start bawling at the thought of not being able to see and talk to your best friend, neighbour's cat, dad, mom, brother, plant, whatever, etc..

This is all silly, of course. But it does show how extremely over-analyzing I can be.
I'm serious.
People around me should be aware. I over-analyze the shit out of people all the time. This is why I --for YEARS-- wanted to be a shrink. I thought that was my one true fate. I thought I was BORN to be a smart-ass , with heavy dark brown decor and all.

Funny enough, the people who veered me off the path of psychology were all actual sociopaths.
But that's a story for another time!

WHY am I bringing this up? (Real question: does it matter? Hm)

I googled the difference between a "psychopath" and a "sociopath", and apparently there is no REAL difference between the two, according to dictionaries. There are, though, "debates" about the small differences between them.
I was shocked to hear this. Shocked!
Somehow, the thought of being a sociopath was ok,
but if there's one thing I'm not; it's a full fledged psycho.

I just kind of feel like I want to go back in time and tell myself to google stuff properly.

This post is over.


  1. I thought about this a lot actually. I got kind of worried because I could go without seeing my friends or family for long stretches of time and not miss them at all. They would want me to visit them and I'd be like... meh.

    But then I realised I just enjoy my own company. I like having the time to myself to do what I want, when I want and how I want. I don't have to worry about other people or keeping up appearances. I still do, but I also enjoy the company of my friends and family more, now that I know more about what I want and I'm a lot more confident in myself.

    And I kill people too. So that helps. XD

    1. HAHA! I love that you actually get what I mean. I just sat there on my balcony, reading my book, thinking: I really don't want to see people right now. Or tomorrow. Or this week. I'm fine with that. I'll be social next week.

      Also, I used to find mice in the woods and stab them.
      Is that not normal?