I don't know how many times I've found myself in this place (school)
this late (23.40)
doing everything except what I'm s'posed to be doing (school work)
At least I'm the kind of person with a naive drive to want to do good. I'm the kind of person that continues to believe in the good of mankind. The kind of person that holds up doors, donates to hopeless and uncredited organisations, waits for hours, refuses to unfollow, shares, listens and smiles; because I'd rather be naive than bitter.
I love the song "Earthman" by Poets & Pornstars.
"And I never met a madman
Who didn't have a cause
And I never met a pervert
Who didn't have a broken heart"
I'm not saying I believe every man is good deep down. Sure, I've learnt that some people are rotten, rotten. But at least I believe that there's a reason for that damage, and that it could've been avoided. I believe that if I'm the person that waits and smiles and listens, that at least one person will have the chance to avoid that damage.
There was a girl in my high school class with a wonderful smile.
It was comforting in the way that being cared for when you're ill is comforting. In a sense, it was warmth in teeth form (but way less creepy-sounding).
Whenever I had to speak in front of my class; I would breathe in, look at her and feel my fear fading away. In some ways, she got me through high school.
To be honest,
we weren't even that close.
I barely ever spoke to her.
But even something small; like a warm smile, can save you.
This is me defending my tendency to trust the world a bit too much, for a bit too long.